Healthy Families, Introduction

There has been much said recently in the media concerning those that would try to destroy the traditional family. However, that process actually started many years ago. From the Pew Research website, in a study dated December 17, 2015 entitled Parenting in America, the research shows a steady decline in the traditional nuclear family from the 1960’s:

Notice the steady decline of children being raised in two parent households and the rise of single parent households in the graphic above from 1960 to 2014. Also notice a newer phenomenon of “cohabiting parents” in 2014. As children being raised by two parents in the first marriage decline, other “forms” of parenting begin to rise to the point of becoming equal with the traditional two parent households.

If you further analyze the above chart, then you begin to see the dramatic breakdown in the family across socio-economic lines, as well. Hispanic and Black families where the children are raised in a home with parents that are in their first marriage are in the minority. Single parents raising children are the majority in Black homes. Those households that are headed by parents with less education tend to also be made up of more single parents than first marriage couples.

These are just two charts that begin to show, in dramatic fashion, the eroding away of first marriage two parent households or the traditional home. This same Pew Study also shows the decline in family size, as well. The study does go more in-depth with various statistics that support the notion that the traditional family has been on the decline for several years (This blog only touches on the above limit statistics). If you are one that likes statistics, you can find much more information in the Pew Research study. The one thing that the study does not do is go in-depth on the root causes of the breakdown.

This post will also not try to explain all of the causes for the decline. However, it is interesting to note that the U.S. Supreme Court banned school-sponsored prayer in public schools in a 1962 decision, saying that it violated the First Amendment (The study starts to show the decline from 1960). This decision was only reflective of the prevailing condition in the country, at that time, that actually started in the home.

Abraham Lincoln once said,

The strength of a nation lies in the homes of its people.

He was saying that at a time when Black families were consistently being torn apart because of slavery and white families were becoming divided over that issue. Unfortunately, the effects of that great divide have rippled through American society until this day.

President Lincoln was wise enough to know the answer to America’s problems. If healthy homes could be established then a nation would be strengthened because of that foundation. It’s in the home where young minds can be educated in the principles that establish the differences between right and wrong. It’s in the home where character is built. It’s in the home where a relationship with God through Jesus Christ is really taught. It’s in the home where love can be experienced. It’s in the home where Mom and Dad can set the example for the next generation to build their homes upon.

There are groups today that want to accelerate the breakdown of the traditional two-parent first marriage home. Some are very blatant in their desire to change the definition of the family in order to support their agenda. In their view, the traditional family is outdated and needs a refresh. Other’s are more subtile in their desire to take-down the traditional family. Let’s also not forget the effect of abortion on the family, as well. However, no matter what the outward agenda or cause, the root goes back to the enemy of all souls and he is the devil. His job is to steal, kill and destroy (John 10: 10). He understands the statement that Mr. Lincoln made and how it effects a holy nation (1 Peter 2: 9) … or the church. So goes the family, so goes the church. These alternatives to the family are distractions to keep us as a people from being truly blessed of God and from being a “strength” in this day and age. Take away God through Jesus Christ and the home has no foundation in which to build upon. Taking prayer out of school in 1962 was only symptomatic of God being forced out of many homes during that time.

Alternatives to two-parent first marriage homes cannot “model” the true reflection of the church that God intends for the home to do (More on this model in future lessons). Without a Mom and a Dad, the children are left with an imperfect and incomplete view of the home and true family life … and subsequently an imperfect and incomplete view of the church. I am not saying that single parents cannot be good parents. On the contrary, there are very good single parents that are doing their best to raise their children without the benefit of having another to help. Many are teaching their children about God, as well, and doing their best to raise responsible and productive members of society. Many of these parents are not against the traditional home. They are just doing their best to deal with the situation that they are in either intentionally or unintentionally. And I am not speaking disrespectfully to people in those circumstances. However, these are the exception and not the rule. In God’s kingdom, the “model” of the family still remains a husband, a wife and the children that come from that union.

In future parts to his lesson, I will attempt to show you the scriptural basis of a healthy family. I will also, with God’s help, show more in depth those major factors that the devil uses to try to destroy the home. Again this series is not intended to condemn those that may not be in a healthy family situation. On the contrary, it is meant to, hopefully, expose the force that is trying to destroy the family and then encourage us as a people to repair those breaches that have occurred over time and most importantly to turn our hearts to the One who will mend that which is broken.